Acceptance
by Siriusly345
Summary: Lily Evans is the one you barely remember looking at twice in the six years you've been in classes with her. One day, James Potter is the first person daring enough to really try to see who is underneath those pure green eyes.
1. Secrets and spiders

Disclaimer:I do not own any part of Harry Potter. Only the characters that you do not recognize.

So...I guess I should talk about myself. My name is Lily Evans and I'm currently a seventh year Gryffindor. And here's my story.

…It had all started a couple of months ago when my Charms, Flitwick, gave us an assignment to make a random story about anything. It was the second to last week of 6th year and teachers couldn't really teach anything of importance so Flitwick figured that we deserved a little fun after a year of endless work and stress. I was really excited. Finally, a chance for me to show that I'm not just the girl who always knows the answers or the girl whose name no one can ever really get right.

So that night, I was huddled in my favourite, shady corner of the library. I was bent over the table, scribbling all of my frustration onto my parchment. With my brain whirring and my pen flying across the page, I was in my own little world. And that was my favourite place to be, away from life and into a world where everything was perfect besides the little problems that always get solved in the end. I was so transfixed in my work that I literally jumped when I heard a deep rumble of laughter near me. I was startled. Why was anyone so deep in the library? I was in the unforgivable section; the librarian loved me and let me sit here away from my fellow students. I was in so deep that everything was covered with a thick layer of dust and webs from spiders long dead. The only place that wasn't filled of earth's natural sign of aging was where I was sitting. I was shocked until I heard the voice of the laugh.

"Yuck, Padfoot, can we leave already? I can't imagine the amount of people who've done the dirty deed in this same spot hundreds of years ago. Ugh, I can just feel myself breathing in STDs that don't even exist anywhere else except this place." I recognized the disgruntled voice of James Potter. I smiled and giggled a little to myself. A little too loudly it seems, if the startled gasp I heard next is any indication.

"What the hell was that? I swear, Padfoot, they're laughing at me right now, sending me images of their nightly romps. Corsets and codpieces flying everywhere." This time I could hear the shudder in his voice, a voice that was getting closer…

"Oh, grow up, Prongs. We have to do this for Moony. Besides, you can't get STDs from just breathing them in; you have to come in contact with something that touched their bits. Like this bookcase, for example." I heard Sirius Black say before a thud and a groan.

"Dammit, Padfoot, I've got STD and spider web in my mouth." James said before I heard him mumble scorgify several times. I giggled even louder with Sirius' loud bark covering up my laughter which seemed only a foot away. With a gasp, I blew out my candle and crouched under the table. I heard Sirius and James steps come closer but no feet appeared. With shock and bewilderment, I listened as James and Sirius walked further away without any sight of them. It seemed even the light they had to have been holding to see in the dark was invisible to me.

After I assumed the coast was clear I cautiously climbed back into my previous seat, and quietly arranged my stuff into my bag. What was up with me lately? Why did I suddenly find James' voice charming and Sirius' antics funny? But, most importantly, how were they invisible? It didn't take me long to realise what they had. An invisibility cloak, something that is definitely the secret to the success of the Marauder's long history of prank. I was pondering this latest development when I heard footsteps approaching me again. A little less frantic than last time, I carefully crouched under the table and waited until I heard their footsteps again. Suddenly, they appeared right in front of me. I stifled the gasp that almost escaped my lips.

"Hey, here's a table that doesn't seem to be infested with sexual diseases, Prongs." Sirius said with a soft chuckle as he sat down, his foot almost hitting my bundled up legs. I scooted away frantically and held my breath. How long was I going to continue sitting here, until they left? That could be for hours. I was mentally hitting myself at my stupidity when James sat down a centimetre away from my body. This was the closest I have ever been to him, I thought with an internal dreamy sigh. Wait, did I just have an internal dreamy sigh in my head? Have I been breathing in too much dust?

"Hmm…Okay, so this book looks promising…Aha! Alright, so apparently, all Moony would have to do is…drink a pint of vampire blood with crushed up nails and raw meat from a werewolf that was killed on the full moon…Delicious, he'll love that. Alright, next book." Sirius said. My eyebrows furrowed. What were they talking about?

I heard James open up a book and that wave of dust that wafted out was just enough to make my nose itch and my mouth open. With horrifying realisation, I sneezed.

"Mate, did a bunny just sneeze? Was that you?" I heard Sirius exclaim in wonder.

"No! I have a manly sneeze." James said defensively. "But who was that? It sounded awfully nearby." He said as his head went under the table and his hazel eyes locked with mine. "Hey... Leslie? What the hell are you doing? How much did you hear?" James asked 'Leslie' with annoyance, shock, and slight panic. I conked my head on the table as I crawled my way out and wondered how this moment could get any worse. It did.

"N-not much." I mumbled with my head down. "I-I um was…counting how many s-s-spiders were under the table?" I closed my eyes and groaned externally. Did I really just say that? Merlin, I might as well added that I was so transfixed trying to figure out a name for spider number 16 that I didn't even notice them there. I looked up from my brief self misery to see Sirius and James holding in their laughter.

"I said that out loud, didn't I?" I muttered with dread and flaming cheeks. They nodded, letting a little laughter out. I sighed and left without another word, their laughter ringing in my ears.

_Its not like I'm not used to laughter at my expense_.

"See you later, Leslie!" Sirius called mockingly after me. I sighed sadly and whispered.

"It's Lily. My name's Lily."

The next morning I woke up to my best and only friend, Audrey, shaking me awake. I groaned as the light hit my eyes. Just as suddenly, Audrey's porcelain face and bright grey eyes were in my sight. As much as I love Audrey, I can't stand to see her face in the morning especially since I was having a very delightful dream about a certain tall boy that I can't quite recall the face of.

I groaned louder and buried my face deeper into my pillow. But Audrey would have none of that.

"Uh-uh, Lily, you know what time it is! It's time to wake up and smell the roses of another beautiful day!" I uncovered my eyes and looked over to the open window.

"It's pouring and freezing outside." I said with annoyance as I cuddled even deeper into my sheets. Audrey rolled her eyes at me. She has to deal with this every morning.

"So what? Besides, you'll get to see hot James this morning!" She sang in a sing-song voice. I blushed deeply and murmured.

_All the more reason to get up._

"All the more reason not to get up." Audrey scoffed at my blatant lie and walked away.

"Alright. If you want to be that way, but, just so you know, he's behind the door asking for you." I jumped out of bed quickly, ran to the mirror, and brushed my hair. Looking at myself, I went over all my faults. My stomach stuck out, my hair was too bright, my eyes are too far apart, and my legs are too short. My colouring makes me look like a bloody Christmas elf all year long. Why would James Potter want to talk to someone who looks like this? I wondered as I hurriedly changed into jeans and brushed my hair again. With a sigh, I opened the door and tried not to smile as brightly as I wanted to.

James' POV, 6 hours earlier:

"See you later, Leslie!" Sirius shouted after that weird girl. Who would have thought that someone so quiet could be so odd? Although, it was kind of sweet how she kept on stumbling over her words. After the laughter died down, I got serious.

"How much do you think she heard?" I asked anxiously. This could ruin everything. She could be spilling the story to the whole school right now. How we have an invisibility cloak and that Moony is a werewolf. I repeated all this to Sirius. His face turned solemn.

"Even if she figured it out, I don't think she would say anything. Besides, there isn't much to link Moony as a werewolf since we hadn't been talking for long and we didn't even mention it once. Just in case maybe we shouldn't mention it out loud anymore. Who knows who could be watching," Sirius said with a suspicious look around him. "Besides, she probably doesn't have anyone to tell it to."

"You're right. I don't think I've ever seen her with another person." I said with a sigh. I love challenges and risks but when it comes to the possibility of Remus' life here being compromised, I've never been so nervous and this is one situation I can't flirt my way out of...Or maybe I can.

"I'll go talk to her tomorrow anyway. Okay, back to work." I said as I reached toward another dusty book. I checked under the table again to see if another mysterious girl was sitting under the table counting spiders. I really hope she was joking about that. And if she was, then I want to figure her out. It's weird; she had this sort of mysterious air around her that I want to know more.

"Hey, Sirius, what do you think about her?" I asked curious. Sirius looked up dazed from the book he was reading. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He had already forgotten.

"About Leslie. Is that even her name? It doesn't sound right. Ann? Sophie? Lily? Yeah, Lily." I nodded with a self satisfied smile. I had remembered her name and with a spark of realisation, I remembered her last name. "Lily Evans, what do you think about her?" I asked Sirius.

He thought for a while. "She's probably the weirdest bird I've ever met. For the first six years, I don't remember seeing her anywhere and then suddenly, she's sitting under our table apparently counting spiders and talking out loud. I don't meet birds like that very often. And I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing." He said finally, flipping through the worn out pages of another tome absentmindedly.

"I have a feeling...that it's a good thing. It's odd. I have this urge." Sirius raised both his eyebrows at that. "Not like that, you perv. She just…seems so sad all the time." I say with furrowed eyebrows. Sirius just looked at me in an odd way and opened his mouth.

"And what does this urge tell you to do?" He asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Befriend her." I said simply, bending my head toward the book. From the corner of my eye, I could see Sirius quirk his eyebrow even more.

"I'm not even going to ask why."

"I'm serious about this, Padfoot. When I go talk to her tomorrow, I'm going to personally take an interest into her life." I said with a self important air. Sirius quirked his other eyebrow. "Oh, for Merlin's sake, Sirius, stop doing that! And stop looking at me like I admitted I'm in love with Malfoy." He just drew back and raised both eyebrows with a saucy smile.

Sirius dropped his smile and took on a serious expression. "Tell me, Prongs, how long have you been in love with Mr. Malfoy?" I conjure up a dreamy expression and put my hands under my chin.

"Ever since I first saw him bullying that first year in the corridor. That sneer on his face was just…beautiful. Made me want to drag him over to the nearest cupboard and soften that curl in his lip." I said in a awed high pitched voice. Sirius dropped his seriousness and burst into laughter. I joined in and that was the last we spoke of Lily Evans for that night.

An hour later, Sirius and I were leaving in dejection when I stumbled on something. I bent down curiously.

"Hey, I think its Lily's bag. She must have left it here when she ran away." And suddenly my sad mood brightened. "Hey, this is the perfect excuse for me to talk to her!" I exclaimed with a smile across my face. Sirius rolled his eyes at my exuberance and pushed me forward.

"Come on, lover boy. Let's go to sleep so you can dream about Malfoy and Lily." I laughed and shoved him.

The next morning, with freshly showered hair, I'm standing outside Lily's dorm with my broomstick at my side and Lily's handbag on my shoulder. I had to use my broomstick to get up the girl's staircase. Brill, right?

It is 11:30 on a Saturday and I think Lily is still sleeping since she wasn't at the Great Hall for breakfast. After knocking and waiting outside for a couple moments, a pretty girl with grey eyes and perfect skin opens the door. Her eyes widen when she sees me and she seems genuinely surprised. She glances behind herself and turned back to me.

"Hi, I'm Audrey McKinley." She stuck out her hand and smiled at me hesitantly. I smiled at her reassuringly and shook her hand firmly. Always have to have a proper handshake.

"I'm James Potter. Lily left her handbag in the library and I just came to give it to her." I nodded toward the handbag on my shoulder.

Audrey nodded. "Ah, well, I can give it to her if you want." She said as she extended a hand toward the bag. I blushed slightly as I moved my shoulder away.

"I actually wanted to talk to her so I might as well give her the bag at the same time." I said, smiling my flirtatious smile so that the blush on my face wasn't so obvious. Her grey eyes widened a smidge but disappeared before she gained a knowing smile.

"And what did you want to speak to Lily about?" She asked. I wracked my brain for a response.

"I was...just going to ask Lily if she would tutor me in Charms since she's the top of our year. I don't have the best grade in Charms and when I went to the library yesterday I saw Lily there with her bag but then she left without it so I thought that I might as well ask her while I brought her bag." I said with a sudden burst of inspiration. I patted myself on the back mentally in congratulations. What I said was true, I don't have the best grade in Charms and this is the perfect excuse to befriend Lily, granted if she agrees to it. She might still be a little embarrassed about last night.

Audrey stared at me for a couple more seconds, and I felt bead of sweat travel down my face as I waited. Finally, she smiled slightly and nodded her head.

"Alright, I'll just go wake Lily up then. This might take a while." I chuckled nervously and watched as she shut the door behind her. After she left, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and just thought about the current situation when the door opens and out comes Lily Evans. She's wearing jeans that are slightly too short for her already short frame, making her look like she's ten instead of a sixteen year old. But what I'm really thrown by is Lily's face. I had never really looked into her eyes and it was too dark in the library to really see them.

Her eyes are the greenest green I have ever seen in my life. Usually green eyes have undertones of blue or hazel so they never look like pure green. But she has pure green eyes; eyes not muddled by the presence of her other parent's genes. They're truly beautiful.

She stands hesitantly and chews on her lip but tries to seem more assured by smiling slightly at me before leaning against the door. I smiled back at her and start talking.

"Hey, Lily." I say and Lily's green eyes widen as she looks thoroughly surprised. I smiled. "What? You didn't think I knew your name? Of course I know Lily Evans' name, the girl who is the top of our year in Charms. Not to mention, the girl who counts spiders under a table and names them." I teased with a chuckle and a friendly smile; trying to tell her that I am not mocking her. It didn't work.

She frowned and talked in a murmur so low that I had to concentrate to really hear what she was saying. "If I remember right, you and Sirius called me Leslie last night. Besides, I was joking last night, I was doing homework when I heard you two gallivanting and whispering about STDs." So it was her that had laughed! "I didn't really feel like dealing with anyone so I ducked under the table. When I didn't see anyone but heard them, I think I figured out why the Marauders are so successful." She said with a slight smile. My eyebrows furrowed. Shit.

I stepped forward and grabbed her arm steadily. "Please, don't tell anyone. It's a family heirloom; my father gave it to me. I'll do whatever you want. You can even use it sometimes." I said desperately. This was one of the Marauders' secrets that could not be divulged to the public. The novelty of the Marauders would be ruined if everyone knew how we do our work.

She chuckled derisively and gently pulled her arm out of my grasp. "So you're bribing me to be quiet?"

"No!" She just looked at me. "Basically."

Lily sighed. "I don't need to be bribed; I won't say anything. I also won't say anything about Remus'...little problem." She says like it's obvious that she won't say anything. My eyes widened and I bent my head toward her.

"How long have you known?" I whispered after I checked to see that nobody was around.

She backed off a little and whispered as well. "Since the middle of fifth year. I was prefects with Remus and it wasn't that hard to connect the dots. I haven't told anyone, if you're worried about that, and I don't plan on telling anytime soon." She said with determination. I looked at her silently, accessing her honesty. She gazed back at me steadily.

I nodded slowly. "You should tell Remus that you know." I said finally. She looked down and bit her lip.

"I already have." That threw me for a loop. I had never heard from Remus that anyone else knew about his affliction. Why didn't he tell us?

I pushed my betrayed feelings down. "Alright. Well, here's your bag. You left it yesterday at the library." She nodded and took it from me.

"I didn't even realise. Thank you." She hesitated. "I guess I'll see you around then." She said as the side of her lips quirked up and turned toward the door.

"Wait!" I shouted. "I wanted to ask you something. I know that you're the top of our class in Charms and I was wondering if you could help me with homework. Only if you want, of course." I said with a shy smile. Lily stared at me with those disarming eyes and hesitated again.

"I don't know. I have a ton of homework lately." She said finally, her head bent toward the floor. I chuckled at her blatant lie.

"It's the 3rd to last week of school. Teachers aren't giving much homework these days." She looked up at me and retorted.

"Well then why do you want me to help you with your homework?" She said in a voice that if I knew Lily better, I would think she was flirting with me.

I smiled and chuckled again. "Touché. I guess what I really mean is, could you help me with some concepts that I don't understand and want to understand before holiday starts and I forget everything." I looked at her hopefully and smiled one of my flirtiest and brightest smiles.

Her pale cheeks turned a pale pink and she nodded. "I guess I could do that. What day and time?" I thought quickly.

"How about today at seven in the library?" She nodded and turned toward the door.

"Thank you again for my bag and I'll see you then I suppose." She closed the door behind her before I could say anything back. I chuckle to myself; once again my smile has done the whole job.


	2. Tutor dates and unusual behaviour

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not anything besides characters that I have created myself.

Chapter 2:

Lily's POV, after talking with James:

I step toward the door quickly and close it behind me before James can smile at me charmingly one more time. I run over to my bed and drop my bag right next to it. I feel my face flood with the delightful smell and feel of my sheets and pillow. Almost instinctively, my mouth opens and I scream in shock into my pillow. I feel my vocal cords crack slightly as I draw out the scream. Suddenly, I feel myself being ripped away from my cosy pillow and the first thing I see are Audrey's anxious grey eyes peering at me.

"Merlin, Lily, I thought someone had died, the way that you screamed! What's wrong, are you okay? Did Potter do something to you?" Her panicked eyes turn suspicious. I barely hear her.

"James Potter knows my name." I whisper with wonder and shock.

_Probably because he looked me up._

Audrey draws back at my words, surprised that I had screamed at something as small as that.

"And...?" Like this isn't the biggest development of the year. I sit up suddenly and hit Audrey's head that was still close to my face. We both grimace and I apologise.

"Audrey, this is the biggest development of the year! Here I was, believing that the Marauders thought my name was Leslie! And it turns out; they've known my name all along!" I say with a gigantic smile on my face.

"Audrey, you should have been there! James, he smiled at me like five times and god, he has such a great smile!" I sigh, the memories taking me over. "And he asked me to tutor him! I've got a tutor date with him today!" I say before I collapse with happiness onto my bed.

For a couple seconds, silence ensues as I think dreamily of James.

Suddenly, I feel cold, wet drops splash onto my face as I am jerked out of my daydream. I open my eyes and another cold drop splashes right into my eye.

I quickly rub my hand over my eye and see Audrey's face over mine again with her wet, dark brown hair splashing over me.

"Can you dry your hair, please? It's getting all over me." Now, that I wasn't in a state of shock anymore, I saw that Audrey wasn't wearing anything.

"Audrey! Bloody hell!" I say as I shield my eyes. She looks at me weirdly before she looks down at herself and realises.

"Oops." She laughed. "I wondered why it suddenly got so cold in here. I wouldn't have run in here in between conditioning if you hadn't screamed bloody murder." She says as she picks up her towel and walks over to her bed where she starts dressing.

"You want my advice, Lily?" She questions. I smile and jokingly say. "No." She ignores my answer.

"I don't think this is going to turn out well." She says simply and my smile disappears. "This is James Potter we are talking about. One of the hottest and most popular guys at Hogwarts. What could he really want from you?" I sit up and stubbornly fold my arms.

"My help on Charms." I deadpanned. She just looks at me from where she is putting on some jeans.

"I don't know, Lily. I just have a bad feeling about this. I don't want you to get hurt and I have a feeling that Potter is going to do just that." I melt a little but nonetheless straighten my back.

"I will be careful but I have a feeling as well and my feeling is telling me that James has good intentions. Besides, I think its about time that I let myself have a social life outside of you." I say in a final tone.

She holds her hands up and shrugs. "Don't say I didn't warn you." I glare at her.

"You sound like you want me to get hurt just so that you're right." I say in a begrudging tone. She sighs and walks over to me.

"Lily, there are two things that I don't want to be right about: this and the world ending." I smile slightly. Audrey smiles too but soon her face turns serious.

"I'm serious, Lily. I wouldn't ever want you to get hurt for my pride. I just want you to be careful around James. Who knows what he has got up his sleeve?" I nod and smile understandingly.

"You're right. Just because James has a nice smile doesn't mean that he is not capable of doing something mean. I think we've seen how far James can go in regards to Snape." I said impassively. Audrey's face grows angry and impassive but she lets that expression go and smiles sadly before she hugs me. After a while, we separate.

A few minutes later, I am about to change my shirt before Audrey stops me and peers at me.

"Lily, aren't we the same height?" I look up, my eyebrows knitted together.

"Uh…Yeah." She nods and walks toward her drawer where she keeps her clothes. She throws me a pair of dark colored jeans and a silky blouse.

"There, wear those." I pick up the jeans and put them up against my hips. They were the perfect height.

I looked up at Audrey and shook my head. "I can't fit into these. You don't have big hips like me." Audrey just looks at me.

"Please, Lily, my mom tells me every day in an effort to console me that I have 'birthing hips.' In my opinion, your hips don't look like you could give birth quite yet. Besides you don't know unless you try them on." From the look on her face, I know that she would not let me leave for breakfast without at least trying them on.

With a sigh, I pointedly take off the pyjamas I had put back on and begrudgingly, I put on the jeans. With a tug, I get the jeans on and button them.

"There, happy?" I look over at Audrey who has a satisfied look on her face.

"Come over here." I walk over to the mirror where Audrey is standing. In the mirror is a girl with a curvy body but jeans that accentuate every single curve. I stare at myself in the mirror.

_Wait until James sees this._

"Wow." I say and twirl around. The jeans cling to me in every place and suddenly, I feel a smile envelope my face.

"I know, right? I knew they would be perfect! You can keep them; I think they're too small for me anyway." Audrey said before she slaps my arse and exclaims. "Damn, Lily, now you don't look like you're ten anymore!" I let the slight insult slide and laugh with her. In my happiness, I grab Audrey's hands and we start freestyle dancing right there. No music even needed. Giggling and twirling, I probably haven't had that much fun in a long time. Too bad it had to end.

The door to our dorm opens and in steps in the other girl that we share the dorm with, Violetta Grey. She has short, platinum blonde hair that today she has gathered into two ponytails on the side of her face. Her face is covered in red bumps but her charisma and confidence has made it so that she is one of the most sought after girls at Hogwarts. She's practically best friends with Sirius Black and there have been rumours that she is romantically involved with him which is ironic since Sirius' last name is Black and hers is Grey.

Violetta has always been nice to me but I've never really gotten to know her. She's on the Gryffindor Qudditch team and that dictates most of her time when its Qudditch season and even when it's not. So we never really see her around the dorm that much, only when she comes to sleep late at night. Sometimes she doesn't even come back at night. Audrey and I have assumed that she and the Marauders are out gallivanting somewhere. She is, after all, basically, an unofficial Marauder.

When Audrey and I hear the door open, we both freeze completely. Violetta comes into the room, seeing what we were doing and smiles slowly.

"Well, don't let my arrival stop you. In fact..." She whips out her wand and suddenly, music starts playing. I've never heard it before but it's just the sort of music to spontaneously start dancing to and that's what Violetta does.

Now I know why the Marauders love her. After who knows how long, all three of us collapse onto the floor, giggling like crazy. I don't think I've ever acted so girly.

"Merlin, after six years of living together in the same dorm, we have never had the clichéd sleepover dance sessions that I thought we would have every day when I came here...until now." She said and smiled over at us, her bright teeth catching me off guard for a moment.

A few more moments lapse in silence before all of us get up and awkwardly shuffle toward our own beds. I ponder how I just acted. I'm quite surprised that I let in Violetta that easily. I suppose it must be because I know she is a fairly good person and I have lived in the same dorm as her for six years.

_"Its about time that I have a social life outside of you."_

Audrey picks through something on her bedside table and I pick up the red, silky shirt that Audrey had thrown at me earlier. I toss the shirt between my hands and watch the silk slip easily. Out of curiosity, I change into the shirt and walk over to the mirror.

Suddenly, the silence is broken by a wolf whistle. I look over my shoulder and there stands Violetta with yet another smile on her face.

"Wow, Lily, where did that body come from?" She says with a teasing smile. I blush and look at myself more in the mirror.

"I know, right? Throw on some different clothes and that comes out." Audrey says from behind me. Audrey and Violetta both laugh and I smile slightly.

"Hey, you should wear that to your tutor date today." I curse Audrey in my head as my cheeks turn red at the mention.

Violetta raises her eyebrows at me as I turn back toward the mirror, acting like I hadn't heard Audrey at all.

"What date?" Violetta questions me with an intrigued smirk on her face. I pretend like I've been momentarily been struck deaf. Of course Audrey is always here to help.

"Lily has a tutor date with James Potter today. She needs to look good while she seductively tutors him on the complications of the Fidelius Charm." Audrey says with a wink towards me. I just glare back at her with a beet red face.

"Ohhhhhhh! James and Lily!" Violetta exclaims. I put my hands onto my face and groan.

"Oooh!" Audrey says in a sign that she has a new idea. Not a good sign. "I have an idea. I've got my old uniform from last year which would fit Lily perfectly! She could be like the studious, sexy tutor!" Audrey and Violetta both exclaim and run towards the drawer where Audrey keeps her clothes. Soon, the old uniform emerges and they try to convince me to try it on.

Ten minutes later, I am staring at myself in the mirror. What the hell has happened to me?

The buttoned down shirt doesn't allow me to button up past my boobs so a lot of skin is showed there, needless to say. The skirt is 10 centimetres below my hips and the skirt clings to me like a second skin. I have to say I look like a vixen but I'm not sure that's a good thing.

"Damn, Lily. James will be drooling if you turn up in that!" Violetta exclaims. I don't even contemplate wearing it, I decline immediately.

"No, there is no way I am going to meet James looking like a slag! What does that say about me? That if I a bloke so much as looks in my direction, I whip out the boobs? No, I will not do it!" Violetta and Audrey both groan.

"Alright, alright. We'll just save that for the bedroom." Violetta says with a saucy wink as my face once again turns red and I start to feel annoyed.

Minutes later, I have changed clothes and we are walking to the great hall for breakfast. After that the hours pass quickly before it is finally time to get ready.

Audrey convinces me to put on the blouse and my new (although, really, old) jeans. She also tries to convince me to wear makeup and put my hair up but I refuse, saying that I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard.

A couple minutes later, I'm in the library in the aisles filled with books, flipping through a book that I think will help James understand some important concepts. Suddenly, I feel a pair of arms slide around my waist. Terrified, I flinch and drop the book I was holding. In shock, I just stand there.

In my shock, I feel someone planting little kisses onto my neck. Despite the fact that I was basically being sexually harrased, a tiny part of me was starting to enjoy it...Then the person speaks.

In a low murmur with a hint of surprise, the person says. "Love, why are you so stiff? What's wrong? Are you still mad about yesterday?" The bloke says in a deep voice and with those words, I snap out of my shock.

"...I think you've got the wrong person." I say in a whisper. He merely chuckles.

"What are you talking about? I would know that arse anywhere!" He says in a flirtatious low murmur before he slaps my arse. I jolt and turn around in his arms. Sirius Black's arms.

His face is a centimetre away from mine as he stares at me in shock. Finally, he seems to realise that he can't actually recognise 'that arse' anywhere. He jolts as far away from me as the small hallway would allow.

"Lily? Lily Evans?" Uncomfortably, Sirius runs his hand through his hair and doesn't look me in the eyes while he mutters a flustered apology. With flaming cheeks, I say that it's okay when at that moment I really don't feel like it is. I feel like at any moment I might start hyperventilating. And just when I thought things couldn't get more uncomfortable and just awful, they do.

James Potter walks in. I can imagine what it looked like. Lily Evans and Sirius Black shuffling awkwardly, as far away from each other as possible between the book shelves. I would be suspicious if I walked in on that and clearly, James was too.

"Uh...Lily, there you are. I was looking for you." He looks at me oddly and turns toward Sirius. "Sirius...What are you doing in the library? I thought you weren't intelligent enough to read." James says in a weak attempt of a joke, mostly because of his hostile tone. His eyebrows are skimming the top of his hairline and on his lips is a stilted smile.

Sirius looks away from James' slightly glaring gaze and awkwardly stutters out a response.

"I-I thought that...Lily was someone else. And I tried to prank her but thank god, Lily has such great reflexes..." Sirius emphasizes the great and looks at me pointedly like I should have reacted a little faster when he started...seducing me, for lack of a better word.

I glare slightly at Sirius and nod my head vigorously at James. "He basically just attacked me." I say in a low murmur, shooting a satisfied glance at Sirius. In my head, I wonder what the hell has gotten into me. When have I suddenly been able to talk to Sirius Black and James Potter without stuttering like crazy and saying something ridiculously stupid?

_It's hard to be uncomfortable around them._

James seems to believe us and he turns toward Sirius. "Sirius, control your urges around Lily. I know she's looking very good today." James said with a smile and a wink toward me. I blush like always.

Sirius rolls his eyes. "I'll try to." He says in a heavily sarcastic voice but despite his tone, his expression is saying something completely different than what his tone might suggest. "Don't you both have somewhere to go? The broom cupboards perhaps?" He says with raised eyebrows. I draw back a little. Is he mocking us?

James looks at Sirius annoyingly and says defiantly. "Yes, in fact, we do." Sirius stares at us with surprise and an amused expression.

"Well, well, well. James works fast these days." Sirius says with yet another mocking tone. It really is starting to annoy me. But I keep my annoyance in.

But James doesn't. "I just meant that we do have somewhere to go to. But I'm not going to tell you where that is because you seem to think you already know. Although, you're wrong." James says in a frustrated tone. I can assume that Sirius has probably done this before, assumed that he's right and then been too bloody stubborn to admit that he might be wrong.

"Come on, Lily. Let's go to that secret place that we'll do secret things in and talk secretly about..."He stops talking at the expression on Sirius' face. He looks like he's suffocating from keeping in his laughter. James' eyes narrow and he purses his lips. Sirius lets out a burst of laughter.

"You know, you're not helping your case." Sirius says in between chuckles and I can't help but giggle a little. James fell right into that one.

James rolls his eyes and smiles before laughing as well. "Seriously, Lily, let's go. I don't want to be in this git's presence anymore." James says jokingly before he walks out. I nod to Sirius and follow James. But before I can take two steps, Sirius grabs my wrist and takes a step closer to me.

I look up at him and realise that are faces are mere centimetres apart. Sirius stares into my eyes and whispers.

"Don't tell anyone about what happened." I look back at him steadily in the eyes.

_Who would I tell?_

"I wasn't planning on it." I whisper back and Sirius lets go of my wrist as I walk away. I turn the corner and spot James' messy hair immediately.

I sit down in the chair next to James and sit there awkwardly for a moment. James is staring in concentration at the torch lining the library wall with a confused expression. After a few more seconds of just sitting there, I snap my fingers in front of his face.

"James." He blinks and turns at me with an inscrutable expression. My eyes wander around the room restlessly for a while before I look back at James.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask him calmly, staring intently at the table. James blinks at me, surprised, but answers back.

"I was just trying to figure you out." He says simply, staring at me with the exact infuriating expression as before. I fidget nervously under his intense gaze and sigh in annoyance as he continues to stare at me with his head tilted.

"How's that going?" I ask him with a slight smile. James smiles back at me.

"Not so good. But I'll crack the code soon enough." I raise my eyebrows. I don't really fancy being called a 'code' that needs cracking. But I don't say anything, I just look back at James' handsome face. He really is gorgeous. He has a strong jaw, really the most important part of a man in my opinion. After a few moments of silence, James speaks.

"So, what have you got planned?" James asks and I stop staring at his jaw.

"Well...I hadn't really planned anything because I don't know what exactly you need help on." I said in my normal voice.

"Alright, that is easy. I can't get the bedazzling hex right and I have a few questions on my homework." I nodded and thought for a minute.

"The hard thing about the bedazzling hex is the motion that you have to get right with your wand. If you don't get it right, the spell doesn't work at all. So, get out your wand." All the while I talked, James looked into my eyes the whole time and seemed like he really was trying to understand what I was saying. It was the first time someone had ever acted like they cared about what I was talking about besides with Audrey and maybe even Sirius.

He got out his wand and I stood up and walked behind him. I laid my hand over his wand hand and showed him the correct way to cast the bedazzling hex. I was blushing the whole time but I reminded myself that I was just being helpful and with tutoring I have to do everything I can to make sure that James understands the material.

"Do you have that?" I ask and James nods. I walk back to my chair and tell him to point his wand toward me and practice the spell. He looks a little anxious at first but he complies and soon, I am not visible anymore. The spell worked.

For several minutes, James practices the spell on me and things around him.

"So, first question. What makes the Fidelius Charm so difficult?" I think for a moment.

"Well, the thing is..."

Fifteen minutes later, James is silently doing his homework, asking me questions occasionally while I study for my DADA final.

"So, Lily, what really happened with Sirius? Don't tell me you fell for his charm." He says with a smile but I can't help but notice that he seems a little annoyed.

"Exactly what he said. I was flipping through this book when Sirius tried to prank me. He...jumped onto my back and tried to scare me but I started hitting him until he fell off my back and noticed that I wasn't exactly who he thought I was. He was mortified." James starts laughing at my made up story. I soon join in at how preposterous the story and how different it is from the truth. Well, it was true that he did kind of attack me.

I am still laughing slightly when James' laughing dies and he stares at me with yet another thoughtful expression. I stop laughing and try to focus on my DADA study guide for finals. But the words on the page aren't registering; I peek up and see that James is still staring me. Before I even form the sentence in my head, I say it.

"What? Am I more fascinating than your Charms homework?" I say, not even looking up. I expect James to blush and go back to what he was doing. But he surprises me.

"Definitely." He said softly, still looking me in that way. I blush and challenge him.

"And why is that?" I said in a careful voice, looking over James' shoulder at nothing in particular.

"You confuse me. One minute you're stuttering and counting spiders. The next you're loud mouthed and assaulting Sirius Black. And the minute after that, it seems almost like you're...flirting." He says with a bewildered look. I blush and mutter.

"I'm not flirting." James hurriedly explains what he meant.

"Oh, I'm not talking about with me. I'm talking about with Sirius." This time, I look up.

"What? Why would you think that?" I sputter in confusion. I was so not flirting with him!

He scoffs. "Oh, I saw that little glare you shot at him with that little smile. You were so teasing him! And Sirius was giving it right back." He said derisively like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I stare back at him with flaming cheeks.

"No need to act so jealous." I say, only half sarcastically. James opens his mouth but nothing comes out. Finally, he sighs and goes back to his homework without another word.

A few more minutes pass uncomfortably before James speaks.

"I'm sorry. I don't want to make this uncomfortable. It doesn't apply to me at all whatever is happening or not happening. Besides, better Sirius than Snape."

I glare at him and lay down the law. "Listen, Potter. I barely know you so don't go acting like you know what's best for me or that you have the right to barge into my business." James looks a little shocked but nods nonetheless.

"You're right. I'm sorry." He says with his head ducked. James looks up and his glasses flop slightly to the side.

"Can we just start over?" He said with a bashful and hopeful smile. I smile a little at the look on his face and nod.

An hour later, I am laughing so much that tears are emerging from my eyes.

"Then the donkeys ran away when McGonagall came over and Sirius made everything worse by saying, 'Hey, Minnie love, looking good today.'" James and I collapse into giggles and Madam Pince marches over to us.

"That is it! Last warning! Get. Out!" James and I try to stifle our laughter while we pack up our things and once we got outside of the library, we dissolve into laughter again. My stomach hurts from laughing too much.

Between giggles, James huffs in a perfect impression of Madam Pince. "'Get. Out!'"

That just makes us laugh all the harder. After we calm down, James throws his arm over my shoulder.

"Lily, I believe this is the start of a beautiful friendship." I smile at the ground.

"I agree." I murmur as I try to duck out of James' arm.


	3. War

I do not own Harry Potter.

Chapter 3: War

Sirius' POV:

I watch as Lily Evans walks away with my best friend. What the hell just happened? I think as I stare at Lily's red hair and hips swaying gently as she walks away from me in the most taunting way possible. Merlin, her hips are like a pendulum right now. Back and forth and back and forth, rather hypnotizing. She has that sort of power.

Even if I had accidentally mistaken her for my current girlfriend, usually birds would not react to me in that sort of way. At the expense of sounding arrogant, most chicks at Hogwarts wouldn't mind having Sirius Black's arms around their waist and Sirius Black's lips on their neck. But she definitely seemed to mind. And that intrigues me. Why did she freak out so much at something so small? I mean, it's not like_ I_ started sobbing when I found that I had did all that to Lily Evans which she seemed a few seconds away from doing when she found out. I was very surprised that I had managed to forget that my actual girlfriend was in Detention for hexing someone but I don't think I acted right then like I was about to start crying at my mistake. I am a man, for Merlin's sake.

I think back to how close Lily's face was to mine and, I can't believe I am saying this, but at that moment I felt a little...attracted. Who wouldn't be? Lily is quite fit, to be honest. I wonder why I never noticed before. Maybe because I was too preoccupied by her odd behaviour to notice that she isn't that bad looking. I mean, the red hair is a little too bright but her eyes are gorgeous and the school year has definitely done some good to her body.

But what the hell has happened to her recently? I keep on seeing her everywhere now. Before, I barely even remember seeing her twice in my life but now I've seen her somewhere two days in a row. And Prongs has been involved somehow both times. Curious...

Which reminds me of James, why was he acting like that? He was acting like I was flirting with his wife in front of him. Like I had betrayed him or something. Very curious...

Speaking of Lily, she has been acting different lately as well. Before she was never in my mind, there was no reason why she would be, but suddenly she seems to be in my thoughts a lot. Not to mention the fact that yesterday night, she was stuttering and nervous and now she can look people straight in the eye without her face matching her hair colour. I'm not complaining though, I like this Lily much, much better.

What am I talking about? I don't like Lily at all. Why would I like her? Well, she's fit, but confusing, and barmy to the point that she's funny. And she is just so damn intriguing. I think as I walk away from the scene and out of the library. As I ponder my sudden interest in Lily Evans, I spot the aforementioned girl and Prongs sitting at a table. Lily is explaining something with enthusiasm, her hands waving around as she tries to get Prongs to understand. The firelight has lit up Lily's hair even more and her eyes are lit up in excitement as she talks. I can't help but stare. She really is pretty. It's so obvious to me now; I can't imagine how my eyes just passed over her before.

I snap out of my daze and look over at Prongs. His eyes are glazed over as he stares at Lily while she talks. He has his raven haired head leaning on his hand and he seems enthralled by what she's saying or, more likely, just her. The look on James' face I have seen plenty of times before and I know, without a doubt, that James is infatuated. And as I realise that, I realise something else. I might be a little infatuated too. But only a little bit, I reassure myself. And it's not like I can do anything about it anyways.

Lily's POV:

I wake up the next morning with my curtains wide open and the sun gazing onto my face. I smile contently and memories pour over me as I remember my tutor date with James yesterday. My smile widens. It couldn't have gone better. James was eager to learn whatever I taught him and besides the little argument we had, everything went beyond anything than I had expected.

As I get up, I can't help but feel eager to see James again today. He's just fun to be around. He's funny, definitely not bad to look at, smart, intriguing, basically everything awesome in the same package. I was being honest when I said that I agreed that this was a start to a beautiful friendship...and maybe even more, if the feeling in my stomach is in any way telling.

I look down next to my bed and see the red blouse and pair of jeans. I'm slightly addicted to the high that I got when I was wearing them. I felt like I was on top of the world. Now I know why some people have to have everyone's eyes on them; I haven't felt that good since...I actually don't know when was the last time I felt that good.

I contemplate wearing them again but decide not to wear the shirt (it showed a little too much cleavage and it's not like I don't have enough of that already) but I wear the jeans since the others I have are too short anyways. Looking at the jeans, I am reminded of when Sirius smacked my arse in them. Blushing red at the thought, I'm not so sure that I should wear these jeans anymore but then again, maybe that is all the more reason to wear them, I think mischievously.

I slap my hand over my mouth, like I had said it out loud, and I am very surprised that I just thought something like that. Sure, Sirius Black is attractive but I never thought that he is my type. I mean, really, I don't think I've ever had a type since I haven't had the most extensive dating history. Scratch that, my dating history is non-existent except for that Slytherin fifth year that kissed me but I don't count that. But then I remember the look in Sirius' greyish blue eyes when I promised that I wouldn't say anything about the incident. It was...intense. In that moment, he seemed surprised and a little bit...attracted like he wanted to grab me and seduce me. And I don't really know what I think about that. The feelings that I have at the moment are more than a little bit of a blur.

But from the rumours that I've heard about him from Audrey, I wouldn't really mind having the infamous player on my arm. Especially since his snogging abilities have got raving reviews. So many girls have come stumbling into the Great Hall, hair tousled, shirt barely buttoned, exclaiming about the mind blowing snog session they just had with the master of male slagishness. Possibly half of them were just outwardly expressing their active imaginations but either way Sirius seems to have a 100% approval rating, so no one involved is complaining. And I don't think I would be the only one with a complaint.

But who am I kidding? I wonder dubiously as I take my customary hot shower. Why the hell would Sirius Black, a bloke that has had as many girls on his arm as he has pulled successful pranks, choose Lily Evans, a short, clumsy, oddball that has one and a half friends, as his flavour of the week? It's unheard of! Sirius has a type and that is slightly oblivious, attractive with long, shiny hair and a long lasting obsession with Sirius Black. He goes out with them for a week (the longest one was three weeks long) and then dumps their begging arse to the curb where they can go running to their friends like this was the most surprising thing ever. Sirius Black has also gained a lot of enemies that way. But what the most intriguing part of this never ending cycle is that Hogwarts will always have a girl blind enough to believe that she can change Sirius into her perfect boyfriend. They all go for the same approach: give him what he wants and more, dress seductively all the time so that Sirius would be so distracted that he can't look at anyone else's slag outfits, be all warm and affectionate, and groom him in the proper techniques like the newborn troublemaking puppy that he is. And all of them fail in some way or the other. But yet, there is always someone willing to take the challenge. And Sirius doesn't mind in the least bit as long as they are fit and...obedient, for lack of a better word.

That being said, Sirius Black doesn't seemed to have matured enough to get out of that cycle long enough to notice someone like me. Whatever emotion had flickered across his face was definitely not what I had thought it was. Stepping out of the dank steam of the shower, I shake my wet, red hair in disappointment and wonder.

Sirius Black couldn't ever fancy me, Lily Evans. I argue in my head.

I sigh loudly in disappointment as I wonder how I could be so foolish, if even for a mere second.

"Liiiilllyyy! Hurry up! My hair looks like I got hit by lightning! I can't go to breakfast like this!" I jolt when I hear Audrey's whining voice and a heavy pounding on the door. Quickly, I toss on a towel and walk toward the door with a roll of my eyes. It's a testament to how absorbed I was in my thoughts that I was surprised by this interruption. This happens every morning. Literally.

I open the door and I gawk at Audrey. "What did you do to your hair? It looks like sex hair." I say with shock and a bit of amusement. I start grinning. "Are you trying to tell me something? Did you actually go to the library yesterday?" I tease her with a sly grin. She rolls her eyes and makes a face at me.

"Ha ha ha. Aren't you clever this morning? And yes, I was at the library yesterday. And this isn't sex hair! I just had a...interesting dream last night." I raise my eyebrow at that and smirk wider.

"Oh, an interesting dream. Right. A perfectly innocent dream." My smirk widens as Audrey's fair skin burns a bright red as she pushes past me with irritation into the steaming bathroom. Audrey's usually orderly dark hair is piled onto her head with random strands poking out of the nest of hair. She looks like she escaped Azkaban after twelve years of living in a dank cell and tearing her hair apart when a dementor came near her. It really is too funny.

I watch as the steam in the bathroom frizzes Audrey's hair even more. I continue laughing as Audrey marches over to the door and slams it right in front of my amused face. Stumbling back a little at the slam of the door, I walk over to my bed and slip on the most comfortable jeans in the world. I sigh a little as I feel the cool fabric touch my legs, and I feel the beginning of a good mood start to come over me. For the past few days, nothing has been able to touch me. I feel like I'm drifting on a cloud over Hogwarts and my usual worries. It's incredible. I've never felt like nothing can touch me because just when I've ever started to feel that way, someone is around to knock me back to the ground. But that won't happen anymore.

With that thought, I am determined that that will not happen today. I will not let anyone belittle me today. No matter how much I want to duck my head and let my self-pity take over me.

Just as I am laughing a bit at my cheesy words, Audrey storms out of the bathroom with freshly tamed hair. Her grey eyes glare at me as she walks to her bed in a huff. I watch her dress in amusement for a moment but after a few seconds, she turns toward with her armed crossed rigidly.

"Why didn't you wake up Violetta?" She snaps at me accusingly and throws up her hands in irritation. "Sometimes you are so selfish!" Normally, I would have been offended and screeched back at her something insulting but just when I formed an insult, I remember my resolution from just a few minutes ago. I can't just give up a few minutes into my promise!

I sigh calmly. "I'm sorry but aren't we all adults here? I don't remember being Violetta's mother who has to wake her up every morning. She's not six anymore, she can wake up herself." I grimace at Audrey's harsh glare. When Audrey is pissed off, it's not the time to be a smart arse. I should know that by now but yet I did it anyway.

"I'm sorry if it's too hard for you to be helpful to your friends. You know, make sure that Violetta is woken up before breakfast starts. Not that hard to do." I raise my eyebrow at her sharp tone and answer back before I have even thought about my response.

"Well, if it's not that hard to do then why don't you do it?"

"I was in the shower."

"I'm sure Violetta will appreciate that excuse when she's missed breakfast and half her classes."

"She wouldn't have missed all of that if you had woken her up!"

I sigh deeply. "This hasn't even happened and we're arguing about it!" I throw up my hands in exasperation. Audrey looks at me for a moment before she slowly starts laughing. I start smiling as I see the hilarity in the situation. Pretty soon, we are laughing loudly at our own stupidity. Through my laughter, I see Violetta come out of her bed with a wide smile on her face.

"You know, I was listening to the whole thing. I've been awake for the past thirty minutes." That only makes up start laughing harder all over again.

After our laughter dies down, Audrey and I are standing awkwardly across from each other, fidgeting and avoiding each other's eyes. Violetta quietly walks over to the bathroom and shuts the door, leaving the both of us all alone.

Finally, Audrey clears her throat and looks at me straight in the eyes. "I'm sorry I was so bitchy. I wasn't really cross with you, I was just taking my frustrations on you for the stupidest reason that I could come up with." Audrey says with an apologetic smile and a small laugh. I laugh a little too and look at her with concern.

"Do you want to talk about what's bothering you?" I ask her tentatively. Audrey is the sort that talks freely about anything that is bothering her. And I mean literally anything and everything.

Audrey shakes her head. "No. I think it'll just blow over anyways. Nothing to worry about really. I'm just being silly." But something about the way she said it tells me that for the first time in our six year long relationship, Audrey is hiding something from me.

As Violetta, Audrey and I walk down to breakfast, I keep anxiously glancing at Audrey. What could she be hiding from me? It can't be anything too pressing if she was willing to act as if it doesn't even matter. But then again, Audrey would be willing to downgrade something big just because she is protecting me. She has done it before, I remember with a spark.

But then as we sit down at the Gryffindor table, something about the way that Audrey's stiff posture and dazed expression tells me that whatever Audrey is hiding might have to do more with her than with me.

I'm jerked out of my contemplative thoughts when something heavy drops over my shoulders. I look up slowly with a little dread and relax as I see James' hazel eyes looking down at me with a smile. I look over at James' smiling face and back at the weight on my shoulders. James' arm is slung over my shoulder. Oh. My. Gods.

I keep looking back and forth.

Dear Merlin,

Is this actually happening? Really? Seriously happening right now in the middle of the Great Hall for everyone to see and gawk at?

Sincerely,

Close-to-fainting Lily Evans.

I reach over to my arm and pinch it. Yep, that hurt. I am alive and this is actually happening. James, your arm better catch me when I faint.

I look back at James whose eyes are sparkling with amusement. His grin widens.

"My arm will always be there to catch you if you faint, Lily." He says cheekily with a wink. I restrain the urge to dunk my head into my porridge but instead, I stare at the table without really seeing it while my 'friends' laugh loudly at my misfortune.

"I think that my arm would be better to catch you, Lily, since I am obviously stronger." Sirius says abruptly from across the table. I look over at him with a raised eyebrow.

Is he saying that I'm fat? That I'm so big that he needs to be strong to catch me? I think in my head, feeling my carefully hidden insecurities bubbling to the surface. But I shove those aside and I say instead.

"Well, we'll just see who can catch me faster then." And with that, James and Sirius start arguing about who would be able to catch me the fastest. Violetta and I exchange a look and I roll my eyes at their childishness. After a few more minutes of petty argument, Violetta smacks them both on the heads and that sends a torrent of curses out of their mouths. I chuckle along with the rest of them and reach toward the Daily Prophet on the table. At first, I stare blankly at the page, not registering the words printed before me. But when my brain manages to process it, I let out a loud gasp.

The Marauders stop pouting and turn to me with serious faces. I stare with wide eyes at the page with my hand over my mouth. My breathing is stilted; I can't bring myself to breathe.

"What's wrong, Lily?" Audrey asks me gently but I just point at the newspaper. They all crowd around the paper and act accordingly. Audrey and Violetta gasp just like I did and James and Sirius stare at the paper with shocked faces.

'Hundreds killed in muggle attack by followers of Lord Voldemort. Death toll continuing to rise.' I start reading the attached article but I regret it when I start to feel like I'm going to vomit into my toast. James and Sirius are glaring at the paper as they read with their jaws clenched so tightly I wouldn't be surprised if their teeth break.

The silence around the table is broken as the entire Great Hall erupts in whispers as they see the cover of the Daily Prophet as well. Birds and owls are flying from every corner into the Great Hall, making even more chaos. Several black birds reach their destination to deliver their grim news, and students run out of the Great Hall, sobbing.

I feel my own eyes begin to prickle with tears and I look over at Audrey and Violetta who have silent tears streaming down their faces.

"I can't believe this could happen. Who would be so heartless and fucked up to do something like this? To take someone's future just because they weren't blessed with magic. It's..." I say in a whisper, shaking my head in disgust. My friends stare at me in silence, their faces showing their own shock.

"They don't have any sort of conscience. They justify everything by saying that they are ridding the world of un-pureness. To them, all this is just a means to an end." Sirius says in a deathly, angry tone. I've never seen someone so pissed off. He seems like he's taking this personally, like the Death Eaters had done this to his own family.

James looks behind himself nervously to see if anyone is listening. "This isn't even half of it. My dad's an auror and he's told me that the Daily Prophet only writes about the worst of the worst, stuff they can't cover up. The minister doesn't want mass hysteria so he doesn't tell the truth. But I think covering up all the people that are dying for a long time is worse than a few hours of panic." He says this in a small whisper, his lip curled at the mention of the minister. His face looks thoroughly disgusted.

Audrey stares at James with wide eyes. "How bad is it, really?" She asks, fearful of what the answer might be. I stare intently at James' angered face curiously. Being a muggle-born, I've never been clued in on the happenings of the wizarding world. There's never been anyone who's told me honestly about everything that is happening outside the walls of Hogwarts.

"My dad said worse than we can even imagine. The Ministry hasn't been talking about the murders happening on the side. The number of families being murdered secretly. The aurors dying everyday in the line of duty." James shakes his head slowly again and peeks behind his shoulder. "The curious thing is for the past few months, it's been quiet. Nothing, almost like before all this started happening. The quiet before the storm. And now this. They've probably been planning for quite some time. And I think we can only expect even more." James says grimly.

A thick silence envelops us as we all ponder this new information. "So, it's true then. War is right at our front door." I whisper in realisation. I can't believe it. A war. A war is raging outside these walls, people are dying continuously as all of us go through our classes, happily ignorant. I don't want to be blissfully ignorant anymore if it comes at such a price.

"I can't stand this. Going to Transfiguration, knowing that people are dying. Innocent people, and I can't do a damn thing about it!" Sirius shouts loudly in frustration and bangs his fist on the table. I nod with him. He's saying exactly what I'm thinking. I look over at Sirius. His eyes are bright, his top lip is curled and his jaw is set. James looks equally the same. I look over at Remus whose sitting next to James. He looks equally as disturbed as the rest of us but...almost resigned. Determined. Like he already knows what he's going to do. Like he's skipped the grieving process and to what he's going to do about it.

I look over at Audrey and Violetta. Audrey looks incredibly scared. Her eyebrows are drawn together and her mouth is slightly open. Her eyes are frantic, looking from one place to another, trying to process the thought of a war, her eyes glistening in un-shed tears. Violetta looks exactly like James and Sirius. And Peter looks...pitiful. Like he's going to pee himself at any minute.

"What are we going to do?" I whisper mostly to myself, knowing that hell is going to be our home for who knows how long. And all because of this psychopath Lord Voldemort. And suddenly, my grief is gone and is replaced by anger.

"Who the fuck does he think he is! Ruining everyone else's lives just because he's got mummy issues." I say 'mummy issues' in a mocking baby voice. My friends look at me in shock at my outburst. I seethe inside and barely hear Remus start to chuckle. It's a low murmur at first but soon, his chuckle is full out laughter. The edge of Sirius' lips quirk up and soon he's guffawing in hysterics. James joins in as well, looking at me like I said the funniest thing in the world. Slowly my anger starts to evaporate as all my friends are laughing as well.

I gasp as I silently laugh hysterically with the others. Our laughter being the only thing joyful in the entire Great Hall. People near glare at us, outstanded that we could laugh at a time like this. But I don't care. For the first time, I don't give a shit. If I die tomorrow, I deserve to laugh once before I kick the bucket.

Tears stream down our faces as we find amusement in something that really wasn't that funny in the first place. But we're not really in the correct state of mind to realise that. Our manic laughter continues to reverberate through the Hall in an ominous way but we stop when Dumbledore calls for the Great Hall's attention.

All of our necks snap comically, desperate for any news. I look desperately over Dumbledore's worn face, searching for any sign of good news. Though how I could expect any good news to be possible I don't know. Of course there's no good news in a situation like this. What do I expect him to say? 'Good news, at least the Death Eaters are still alive. Some people survived!' Well, hallelujah, I think extremely sarcastically.

"This early morning at about 3am, an attack against a muggle neighborhood was orchestrated. Hundreds were killed, muggle and magical kind alike, entire families wiped out, dozens of children orphaned." I close my eyes of the images that instantly flood my brain. I can't even begin to imagine how horrible it must be to lose your parents to reasons that are unknown to you but pointless and stupid to those that know of them. For your life to change completely in one night for one man's twisted quest. For your parents to have died for no reason at all except that a 'man' feels he needs to thrust his misery onto others. A blast of green and nothing is ever the same.

I snap out of my morbid thoughts as Dumbledore continues. "The death toll continues to climb. A truly horrific thing has happened and we feel that all of you have the right to know why this is happening." Everyone is deathly silent as we wait for Dumbledore to speak again. "I'm sure you have heard of the Death Eaters before, followers of Lord Voldemort. A powerful man with many followers whose mission is to rid the world of muggleborns and establish a pureblood society where he is the ruler." I shake my head disgust. Like I said, mummy issues. Who else would have such delusions of grandeur?

"Voldemort is quite determined to do whatever it takes to accomplish this. These are dangerous times. And as a result, we need to lean on each other. To give each other the strength to do what is right and just. Here at Hogwarts, we are safe but we will not be safe forever. That is all." And with those ominous words, Dumbledore walks back to the Head table and sits down.

I look back at my friends who all have somber expressions. The rest of breakfast passes in silence and all the laughter and fun is gone. I can't fathom that at the beginning of this breakfast I felt like I was going to faint from James having his arm around my shoulder when now I feel like I am going to faint for entirely different reasons. A war. A single word that ruins and destroys everything. And for what? A new world order? No one will be alive to see that. I certainly won't. I'll sooner kill myself than grovel at a Death Eater or at Voldemort's feet.

The rest of the day continues and ends in a blur. The only thing that I think about is what's happening outside Hogwarts. What am I going to do when I get out there myself? I question myself the entire day. I know that I want to be in the middle of it, fighting off all those gits. But I don't have the slightest clue how.

I'm no longer depressed about what happened a couple hours ago, I just feel determined to make sure that that never happens ever again on my watch. And as I look at Remus, Sirius, and James (minus Peter, of course, he still looks like he's going to pee right then and there) their faces show exactly what I'm thinking. And it seems they know how to do it too. I'm going to have to talk to them, then.

Despite a massacre happening today, I can't help but remember James' arm around me this morning. It felt so natural, just normal. But every time I think about James in a dreamy way, I stop myself halfway through the thought out of guilt. Innocent people were killed today for no reason and I'm thinking about how beautiful James' eyes are? What am I thinking? Why am I even thinking about James so much? It's not like I fancy or anything. I barely even know him! I'm just not in the right mind today.

I'm walking down the back way to the Gryffindor common room, coming back from rounds when I see a light in one of the classrooms. Curiously and cautiously, I approach the room where I hear the tell tale sign that a silencing charm has been placed on the classroom. Quickly, I take off the silencing charm and listen closely. I don't know why I did it; it could have just been a shagging couple but as a prefect, I have to punish anyone prancing about after hours and I was curious.

"How did you fuck it up already?" I heard someone say in an angry murmur followed by I presume is a hard slap. I gasp slightly and my eyes widen as I recognize the voice.

"What was that?" Says the harsh voice and before I can move, the door flies open and out steps Bellatrix Black. Her eyes narrow when she notices me and I stare at her wide eyes. Stepping back, I put my hands on my hips and try to say in an authoritative voice.

"Do you realise that curfew has passed?" I try to say sternly but instead, it sounds uncertain and weak. A twisted smirk appears on Bellatrix's face as she lets out a bark of laughter.

"Surely you realise that I am also a prefect and as such I can stay out past curfew as long as I want, _mudblood_." I glare at her slightly, really there is no need to use that word and to talk to me as if I am five.

Before I can open my mouth and retort back, Bellatrix starts talking again. "Just for that ridiculous question, I think that you could use some disciplining of your own." She whips out her wand and casts a spell that I wouldn't want to know the effects if I hadn't blocked it in time. I quickly cast a disarming spell but Bellatrix blocks it and this continues for a couple minutes until I see a couple of figures emerge from the classroom. Bellatrix and I had shifted to the middle of the hallway and in the middle of another disarming curse, I stop as I see who one of the figures is. Severus Snape.

And of course, Bellatrix takes advantage of my shock to hit me with a curse. I gasp shallowly as it feels like a force of a hundred pounds crashes into my side. I fall heavily onto the ground, gasping shallowly but every breath I take in makes another shot of pain rise up. I can't breathe; it hurts too much.

As I try to breathe, Bellatrix crouches next to me and stares at me with no remorse or pity in her eyes. "That'll teach you not to meddle in other people's business." And with another smirk, she rises onto her feet, brushes off her clothing like being that close to a 'mudblood' made her clothes dirty and walks to the door of the classroom, does some sort of charm to it and walks away, beckoning her followers with her.

The others follow without a thought but Severus stares at me for a few seconds with an inscrutable expression before he walks away as well. I don't know whether to be grateful that he hesitated a few seconds or disgusted that he didn't do anything anyways.

I hear one thing before everything goes dark. "Lily!" Someone had shouted before I gave up.


	4. Confusion and Betrayal

Chapter Four: Confusion and Betrayal

Sirius' POV:

"Prongs, that girl was so hitting on you!" I exclaim with wide eyes and arms flailing everywhere. James looks at me exasperatedly with a red tint painting his cheeks. With a pointed look at the girl next to him, who is pretending that she doesn't hear whatever we are saying by talking to Remus, James pleads at me with his eyes to stop. He looks so pathetic that I decide to be merciful. For once.

I share a knowing look with Remus. He's telling me that it's time to leave the two of them alone but I won't budge. There is something about this girl that does not sit well with me and I'm not that eager to dump James just because I've got my own birds to meet. Especially after what happened today. She could be a Death Eater for all that we know! I tell Remus that with my eyes and he tells me that I'm being ridiculous. But before I can retort anything back, Remus speaks to them.

"Well, Sirius and I both have a very important thing to do. So we'll be going now. Good night." Remus says politely and drags me down another corridor, away from James and her. Irritated, I roughly shove Remus' hand away from my arm and I glance behind me at James and the girl that are slowly disappearing from my sight.

"What did you do that for?" I whisper angrily to a smug Remus. He looks at me with a smirk and a slight tilt of his eyebrows.

"They obviously wanted some alone time and just because your non-existent sixth sense was ringing the alarm doesn't mean that they shouldn't get it. Besides, we actually do have something to do." My anger and annoyance subsides a little.

"What?" I question curiously. Remus looks at me with another smug expression. It really is starting to annoy me.

"I was looking at the map when we were at Hogsmeade and I noticed something very peculiar. We are going to go check it out." I look at Remus. I've been feeling reckless all day, ever since I found out what happened this morning. Whatever Remus found will likely have something reckless and irresponsible tied to it. And I love it.

Remus looks at me with a knowing expression as a mischievous smirk envelops my face. Whatever this mission is, it can finally get out the angst out. Excitement fills my body as I think of all the trouble that we're going to get into tonight.

Remus reaches into the pocket of his robe and takes out the Marauder's Map. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." He whispers and the familiar scene of Hogwarts covers the parchment. I gaze down fondly at the greatest thing that I have ever helped create. I locate our dots and see something curious a couple corridors away from us. The direction we are walking towards.

"Uh...Remus? What's Lily doing there?" I ask him, my 'non-existent' sixth sense once again flaring up. Remus starts walking faster, staring down at the Map with a confused and worried expression. We start running down the corridors, glancing down at the Map occasionally, and watching Severus Snape's dot hesitate for a moment before leaving. Lily's dot jerks around and fidgets a while longer as we turn the corner. Remus' wand light finally shines on a small figure, making small gasps without letting any air into her lungs.

"Lily!" I shout as Remus and I crouch next to Lily who has suddenly stopped gasping shallowly and stopped breathing altogether. I feel myself panic and Remus looks at me with his brown eyes freckled with the same emotion. Believe it or not, I have seen this expression on Remus' face many times before. Remus has always been the rational one but he panics just as much as the rest of us. He just hides it better.

"Oh my god, is she dead?" I screech in panic, looking at Lily's paler than usual face. "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit! What do we do? Oh god, she's dead! She's dead! James is going to kill me. She's dead and I'm going to be dead!" My breath starts coming faster as I stare at Lily's face. I keep ranting indistinguishable things. James is going to kill me. James is going to kill me.

"Sirius!" Remus shouts at me. My head snaps up. Remus never yells. But then again, I don't usually hyperventilate during dire situations.

"She's still alive. But you won't be soon if you don't focus right now." He threatens, looking angrier than I've ever seen him. I nod repeatedly.

"Now breathe." I do so. "Pick up Lily and bring her to the hospital wing as fast as possible. But first, give me the mirror." I do so and then shakily gather Lily's small frame into my arms and start running to the hospital wing. I hear Remus shout James' name into the mirror.

Being part of the Marauders I am used to running like Voldemort is at my heels but it's not long before I am gasping for breath. But I don't stop. Lily's life literally depends on me. And that is probably the scariest thing that has ever been thrust upon me.

The only thought that keeps circling around in my head is what I'll do if Lily dies in my arms. Rationally, I know that it won't be my fault since I didn't cast the spell that killed her but I know that if I don't get to the hospital wing fast enough then I'll feel like I was the one that cast the spell with my own hand. I know I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I would be no better than my family...Maybe that was going too far.

Glancing down at Lily's face, her face looking like she hasn't seen the sun in ten years. Suddenly, a small gasp comes out of Lily's lips and her eyes open briefly. I slow down my running in shock as Lily's green eyes stare at me blankly, with absolutely no expression. Her lips lilt down as her eyes start to close again but not before she mutters one thing: "Betrayed..."

Her eyes close and her breathing stops again as she blacks out. My legs start to run fervently again through my shock. I can't even feel my breath struggle or my legs begin to hurt. All I concentrate on is my bewildered thoughts. Who betrayed Lily? Who hurt her?

I feel my pulse rise as I begin to get angry and protective. Why does everyone hurt each other so much? How hard it is to be loyal and kind? Not that hard. These days, a person getting stabbed behind the back is more common than ever. But I'm angrier than I feel that I should be. Who would hurt Lily so bad?

Why would they? As far as I'm concerned Lily has never done anything to anyone. She's only ever been an angel. A silent, sarcastic angel but an angel none the less.

I swear, I will find that person and...I stop my thought. Why am I feeling so overprotective? I've only known her for a couple of days.

My bewildered thoughts as I finally get to the hospital wing and slam open the doors. Madam Pomfrey comes running from where she was tending to another student.

"What's going on here? What has happened to Ms. Evans?" I ignore Pomfrey's inquiries and gently place Lily onto a bed. Pomfrey looks taken aback but walks over to Lily and starts taking tests on her. After a few minutes, her expression becomes more worried and confused. I gaze down at Lily's face and take her limp and cold hand into mine.

"What's wrong? Is she going to be okay?" I ask urgently as Pomfrey looks panicked and runs into her office. Several seconds later, James and Remus burst into the Infirmary. James' hair looks even more harassed than usual and Remus doesn't look that much better.

Immediately, they run over to me and James frantically started questioning me on what had happened. It was amazing how distressed we all looked when we barely know anything about Lily. It's weird though, this morning I woke up and I was looking forward to seeing Lily. And when James had casually slung his shoulder over Lily's...I just started thinking some weird things. Things that I never thought I would think about doing to James like ripping his arm off his socket. And this feeling came over me. Almost like when I started feeling like I wanted to kill whoever hurt Lily. And I've felt this feeling many, many times before. It's my constant companion, Jealousy.

Despite my outward cockiness, I am not the most confident person in the world. In fact, one might call me a "tortured soul." My screwed up family messed up my psyche more than I care to admit. My cockiness and assurance around the ladies, and everyone else, is basically fake. I built my confidence around others to hide the fact that I am deathly afraid of rejection and abandonment. I mean, for Merlin's sake, Death Eaters have rejected me.

Getting rejected by your own mother while your father and brother just stare at you while you leave can screw some things up. Which brings me to my friend, Jealousy. Believe it or not, I am so jealous of James. He has everything that I could ever want; the perfect family, a huge house with a qudditch stadium, good looks that girls go crazy for, amazing qudditch skills, and confidence that I wish would rub off on me. Plus he doesn't get in half as much trouble as I do and his family hasn't disowned him but instead, has practically adopted me.

I'm jealous of Remus because he's seems to have everything together. Besides the obvious exception, he's got everything figured out. Who he is, what he's going to do about the war. He's got this easy confidence with the way that he walks that would never hint that he's a got a huge problem in his life.

And this jealousy is manifested from something else. I'm waiting for the day that James, Remus, and Peter will finally realise that they shouldn't hang out with a low life Black and leave me behind in the dust. I don't deserve friends like them. I haven't done anything to deserve them. And I'm afraid that one day they'll realise that and I don't know what I would do then. But every day that they remain ignorant is another day that I can breathe easier. And another day that I can fear at the same time.

I'm shocked at my sudden realisation. Is that why I feel relieved every morning when I see them? I have never tried to significantly delve into my feelings. That's just not something that I do.

I feel good all of a sudden. I finally know the reason that I've felt so confused recently; the reason why I'm screwed up. I start smiling as I feel the massive ton leave my shoulders.

And just as my good mood starts, it ends. I feel a hand smack me hard on the head. My hand immediately touches my head and I look up to see James scowling at me.

"Why are you smiling? You're not supposed to be smiling right now!" James exclaims with a pointed glance at Lily's still body. I immediately sober.

"Sorry." I mumble, staring at Lily. Even though her skin has a greyish tint to it, she looked more beautiful than ever. Her blood red hair is fanned all around her on the bed and her lips are parted slightly with a pink, healthy glow on them. It was just something about her that was beautiful. I don't know; it was the strangest thing. Her organs could be failing at the moment but she has never looked more beautiful. A bit morbid really.

I glance over at Remus, whose looking at Lily with an expression that shows he's thinking the exact same thing as me. I look at James who's staring at my hand in Lily's. Like many times before, his expression is inscrutable and I have no idea what he's thinking but it doesn't look that pleasant so I hesitantly drop Lily's hand out of mine and watch it drop dully toward the floor.

I look away from her hand and look at her face instead. She looks like the muggle Sleeping Beauty except more dead looking. I'm suddenly overcome by a wish. I wish I could see her eyes. Those stunning green eyes that show what she's thinking at any moment while at the same time, giving nothing important away. I want to see them because they're the most alive thing about her and I want her to be alive so badly.

I want to see what could happen with us. I want to see where the jealousy could lead and where this flirtation could end up in. But most of all, I want to see more of Lily.

I want to know her. Like James said earlier, she's weird to the point that I want to see more.

Madam Pomfrey comes out of her office with hair, once restricted by her bun, messily coming apart. I start to feel even more anxious. How bad could this be?

She reaches us and takes out her wand, glancing at the papers she set on the bed. But before she does anything, she glares at us.

"Get out!" She shouts loudly with a hand directed toward the door. James and I hesitate, glancing worriedly at Lily but Remus guides us out of the door.

"We'll go crazy if we stay in there." Remus mutters as he shoves us out of the Hospital Wing. We walk in absolute silence; we've never been so silent around each other except maybe this morning at breakfast.

My thoughts are racing around in my head. Who did this to Lily? And then I remember the dot. Severus Snape. He cursed her for no reason and left her in the corridor.

"Remus, what did you see on the map at Hogsmeade?" I ask Remus with urgency. Remus looks at me, stunned. I never call him by his first name.

"I saw Bellatrix, Snape...Regulus, Lestrange, all in an abandoned classroom. Near where we found Lily." My heart stops beating for a fraction of a second when he says my brother's name with a sorrowful expression. The rage builds up in me.

"I think we know who did this." I say darkly, the rage bubbling inside me. James and Remus look at me like they're scared at what I might do.

"Snape." I spit out. Remus looks at me with an annoyed expression. James just looks curious.

"And what do you base that on?" Remus asks me with an angry tone.

"When I was running to the Hospital Wing, Lily woke up." They both stare at me with shock. "She looked at me but she didn't see me. Her eyes were glazed over and she said, 'Betrayed' before she passed out again." I say grimly, and a tone that would suggest that they should know what that meant.

They just stared at me and waited for me to continue. "On the map, Snape hesitated before he left her there." They just keep staring at me. I throw up my hands. "Lily was betrayed by Snape! Don't you remember? You couldn't see one of them without the other one being right next to them until fifth year when something happened between them. But the point is Lily was betrayed by Snape when he attacked her for no reason and left her in the dust!" James is nodding his head emphatically and looking as angered and ready for revenge as I am.

Remus looks at me with a deadpan expression. "Are you fucking mad? This isn't some muggle Spanish soap opera! No such thing has happened. Lily was incoherent when she mumbled that; she could have been talking about King Arthur and Guinevere, for Merlin's sake." I ignore the fact that I have no idea who those people he mentioned are.

"And if you hadn't been going out of your freaking mind, then you would have seen that Snape was just following some people; Bellatrix, your brother, Lestrange. It could have been any one of them."

I glare at Remus. "Regulus is not my brother. Not anymore." I say frigidly. Remus and James share a look while I stare into the dark corridor.

James puts a hand on my shoulder and I resist the temptation to shake his arm off. He's just trying to help.

"That's alright. You lost one brother but you've gained three." I stop glaring at the corridor and turn to them. Suddenly, I feel like crying. What did I do to get such good mates?

"I don't deserve you guys." I mumble with a smile as we continue walking away from the Hospital Wing.

"All of us don't deserve each other." Remus says wryly and all of us laugh. It feels good to really laugh for probably the first time today.

"Merlin, this has been the worst day ever!" I exclaim. James and Remus nod emphatically.

"You're right too, Remus. I was just angry and I jumped to conclusions." I say sincerely and Remus sighs in mock relief and happiness.

"Oh, how good it is to hear that. Turns out this day wasn't so horrible." I chuckle along with the rest of them. We walk in silence for a while until I burst out.

"Oh, shit! We forgot about Audrey and Violetta! We have to go tell them!" James and I start walking faster toward the Gryffindor common room but Remus stops us with a very sombre expression.

"Seems like we forgot about someone else too." James and I exchange a confused glance. "Peter. Where has he been this whole time?" I shrug, not that interested. Peter's been disappearing a lot more lately. We thought that he just might have a girlfriend he's not telling us about.

"I saw something else." Remus looks around suspiciously and casts a silencing charm around us. "When we found Lily, I saw a rat. Scampering out of the classroom and running the hell out of there; a very familiar rat." The silence around us grows thicker and we realise what that means.

"No." James finally gasps out. "Peter wouldn't do anything like that. He knows not to get involved with those sorts of people." But I'm not so sure.

"I don't think so. Did you see Peter this morning? After we found out? He looked like he was going to piss himself. There's a reason why his animagus is a rat after all. I mean, we've all seen how Peter is the first to run away from bad things. Haven't you guys ever felt like...Peter isn't really a Gryffindor? There's just something...off about him." I say, feeling even more uncertain.

James shakes his head fervently. "No. He wouldn't do that to us. Sure, he's run away from things. But so have you and so have I...And the number of times he's stuck by us overrides the times that he's left us." Remus doesn't say anything but just watches us with an inscrutable expression that told me that he knew something that he wasn't telling us.

And as Remus takes off the silencing charm and we start walking again, without speaking, I feel that trusting Peter might just be the worst mistake of our lives.

Remus' POV:

So I didn't tell them. It's not like something bad can come from it. Peter is completely harmless, like a baby duck. He wouldn't, he didn't do anything...Would he? Did he?

I'm not so sure anymore.


	5. The Infirmary and Missions

Lily's POV:

It feels like I'm dreaming. I can't feel my body and I don't know whether I exist or not. The only thing I can see is black and suddenly I'm blinded with a bright light. I try to shut my eyes but I can't— all I can do is stare into the light.

And I suddenly I know where I am. I must be in heaven. That's why I can't feel my body; it's just my soul in heaven.

For a moment, I'm happy. But then I remember what I left behind and what my final moments on earth were like. I don't know whether to sob for all the things I didn't get to do or be grateful for the sixteen years of life that I did have.

"Ms. Evans? Are you awake?" I hear a voice saying somewhere in the distance. For a foolish moment, I think it might be God or Jesus but then my vision expands and I see that I am in fact not in heaven but in the infirmary at Hogwarts.

Now I feel like crying. I am alive! Hallelujah! Praise the lord!

To my horror, tears start to leak from my eyes as I take in my surroundings. The infirmary looks the same as always and still smells like someone's a little too obsessive about cleaning.

Madame Pomfrey's kind face hasn't the least bit of change, except for a few more wrinkles. Plus she's looking at me in extreme worry.

"Ms. Evans. Are you alright? Does anything hurt?" Unable to get any words out, I just shake my head while a huge smile blooms onto my face and I start laughing.

Madame Pomfrey's face scrunches up in incredible worry; she probably thinks I'm going insane.

After a couple more minutes of laughing to myself for no reason that I can fathom, I manage to speak.

"I'm fine, Madame Pomfrey. I'm just...really happy. I thought I was in heaven there for a second. But I'm alive! Ha ha!" I spout out in laughter again but this time I feel a sharp pain in my ribs. I hiss and make a note to myself to not to laugh suddenly anymore.

"That hurt." I say weakly and Madame Pomfrey scurries away. While I wait for her to come back, I can't help but feel like this is my second chance at life. I was meant to stay on this planet for a little while longer and I will be damned if I do not use every minute to my full advantage. No more will I be too shy to admit what I want, too shy to stand up for myself and what I believe in. I nod determinately to myself at this resolution.

Suddenly a puke green potion is thrust right in front of me. I gulp at the sight and smell wafting off from it but Madame Pomfrey gives me a firm look which tells me that I can't get out of drinking it.

Hesitantly, I take the vial into my hand and tell myself to just do it. I swig back the vial and find that the taste is so disgusting that I wanted to regurgitate it back out the second I swallowed it.

Telling myself that I could do it, I drank the rest of it and consciously told my body not to vomit. A few seconds later, a dull pain that I hadn't realised I had was gone. I felt like I could jump out of the bed and dance through the halls, I felt so alive.

I made a move to do just that what Pomfrey tutted and pushed me back onto the bed.

"Ms. Evans, you might feel fine right now but you're body still needs time to heal. You have been here for a little over a week but another couple days will repair your ribs and lungs fully enough for you to return back to classes." I stiffen from her news. 

"What? I've been here for two weeks? I've missed so much work, I must be so behind! What am I going to do? Oh Merlin, I must have so much work left to do. Oh, and I didn't even finish my homework from a week ago."I whine in misery and suddenly I'm struck with an idea and I turn to Pomfrey.

"Please, Madame Pomfrey, let me out of here! I don't think I can stand to stay here for another couple days while all of my friends sleep in their beds! Surely you want your patients to be comfortable especially since I have to stay in bed for such a short time?" I widen my eyes as wide as I can and Pomfrey's strong glare reduces and a soft smile emerges onto her lips.

"I suppose if I levitated you and there was no pressure on your ribs then alright you may return to your own bed tonight." My glee at having gotten my way abruptly ended when I saw Sirius, James, Remus, Audrey, Peter and Violetta all walking toward me, arguing fervently.

"What? I told you! I didn't do it! I swear, didn't I tell you Remus that I didn't think Snape did anything? Why would it be my fault that Snape miraculously grown boobs and gained a high pitch voice? He's just showing his true colours! I told you his mannerisms are effeminate!" Sirius shouts, his hands waving all around.

"That is-" Audrey says and stops midway when she seems me smirking amusedly. I'm quite glad that Snape got what was handed to him especially since I've been waiting two years to get my revenge. Turns out I didn't even need to do anything.

All of them turn their heads toward Audrey's line of sight and stare at me with their mouths wide open.

"Lily!" They shout at the nearly the same moment (James being the first to say it) before running at me and attacking me with hugs and in two cases, kisses. I laugh at their enthusiasm and look over to see Peter just standing there with an odd expression on his face like he was jealous of me although I don't know why he would be jealous of me when I was attacked by Bellatrix and have been unconscious for a week.

The love fest ends when Pomfrey shrieks at them to get away from me. They all back off slowly although Sirius lingers and places another kiss on my cheek. I stare at him in curiosity, ignoring the weird feeling in my stomach, and wonder. What was that for? And what did it mean?

I turn toward Audrey and give her a pointed look of confusion but she just gives me a short smile. Before I have time to wonder what that was about James asks me how I feel. Looking at his messy hair and crooked eye glasses, I'm struck by a weird feeling. I missed him. I might not have known him for long but there's just something about Sirius that makes you want to be around him all the time. He's magnetic.

James stares at me with a concerned expression on his face. I smile at him and as he smiles back, I feel better than ever.

"I'm really good. I just feel alive. Ready to get back to class and catch up. But of course, I have a couple days in bed left but I convinced Pomfrey to let me go back to my own bed." I lowered my voice. "I can't stand the smell in here. I don't think I could stand being in here for another hour let alone a couple more days, it'd be like being in an insane asylum." All of them laughed but they sobered up when Sirius asked me something.

"Do you remember what happened?" My good mood disappears as I remember. I feel my fists start to clench and my jaw sets.

"Yeah, I remember. I remember everything." I said bitterly. I would rather forget everything from that night.

For a few moments I am silent until Sirius prompts me eagerly.

"And...?" He says.

"I was coming back from my rounds when I passed this classroom that had a light on. I could tell that there was a silencing charm on it so I took it off and heard Bellatrix say something." I shake my head with furrowed eyebrows. "I don't remember what she said. But...I gasped and she heard me and came out. We exchanged words and started duelling. I was pushing her back when I saw...Snape...walk out of the classroom. She took me by surprise then and hit me with some curse. It was horrible. It felt like a gust of wind worth the weight of an elephant crashed into me. I couldn't breathe- it hurt too much. Bellatrix said something to me, kicked me hard in the side and walked away, beckoning everyone else to follow her. I heard someone shout my name but my vision went black before I could see who it was. Then I woke up here. A week later."

I look at all my friends. Suddenly, I am struck with a thought. Just a couple of weeks, I didn't know half of these people and now, they are looking at me with such concern and anger at my assailant that I want to start crying.

But I'm also a little weirded out, why do James and Sirius look so protective of me when I barely know them? Maybe this is just a testament to how much they hate Slytherins and that they are good people. I tell myself to forget about it and look at the rest of the people gathered around my bed.

Audrey and Violetta look sickened and infuriated. Once again, Remus looks like a mix of both. A small smile emerges onto my face. I am so lucky to have such great friends. I look over at Peter. He looks very peculiar, almost...happy and satisfied although he's trying to cover up by furrowing his eyebrows which isn't really working because of the slight relieved look on his rat-like face.

I really need to stay away from Peter, I resolve. Something is very off about him. I lock eyes with Remus who was also staring at Peter with a puzzled frown. His expression changes as he stares at me and I get the feeling that Remus knows something big about Peter, possibly why Peter's smiling about this whole situation. I make a mental note to talk to him about that later.

James breaks the silence by speaking, "You have to tell Dumbledore about this. Bellatrix can't get away with it." I hesitate for a second but then I remember that twisted smirk on Bellatrix's face when she kicked me into the side.

"You're right. As soon as I can get out of this bed, I'll tell him. Now enough of this serious talk, tell me what happened while I was out of it." I smiled to show I'm joking and the tension in the room visibly lessens as James and Sirius excitedly start babbling about Snape's recent gender change.

A couple of hours later, I am happily snuggled in my bed when I hear a knock on the door. Agitated that I can't get up to see who it is, I instead yell from them to come in. Upon seeing who the person is, I am surprised although very pleased to see him.

"Remus! How are you?" I ask excitedly and exclaim when I see what he is holding. "You brought me food? How did you know that I was really pining for some steak?" I winked at him before saying something that caused Remus to almost tip over the food. "I knew you were psychic as well as- well, you know." I stumble as I didn't really want to say the word out loud. Not that I was afraid of the word per say but I couldn't help but feel that someone could be listening.

Remus trips over the rug and manages to prevent the food from spilling over the floor by quickly regaining his balance. I furrow my eyebrows at Remus' pale face and wide open mouth as he sets the food on the bedside table and sits uneasily on the edge of my bed.

"I thought you already knew that I knew. I hinted as much while we were prefects together. Don't you remember?" I say with a scrutinizing look at Remus. I thought he was smart enough to realise what I had been hinting at the whole year.

Remus ran his hands over his face in a distraught fashion and looked up at me with a sad and slightly angered expression.

"I didn't think you actually knew! I thought it was a coincidence!" He throws up his hands in exasperation. Then a thought strikes him and he looks at me frantically.

"Did you tell anyone?" He asks me in panic, looking as though his world might crumble underneath him if I said yes.

"Merlin, what is it with you Marauders? First, James and now you think that I might have told someone about a secret that could jeopardize your whole future! Do you really think I told anyone?" Remus gets a little angry as he stands up.

"Give me a straight answer! It doesn't matter what I think right now!" He exclaims in a much louder voice than usual. I wouldn't call it shouting but certainly close to it.

Now I am offended and as agitated as him. "Of course not! Who do you think I am?"

Remus sighs deeply and puts his hands over his face. Through his fingers I hear his mumble.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get so...accusatory. Of course you'd never do that. I know that." Halfway through his speech, Remus removed his hands from his face and sat on my bed.

I nod and sigh. "I know." I adjust my position from laying down to sitting up so that I could see Remus better.

We sit there in silence for a few moments before a thoughtful expression clouds Remus' face.

"What did you mean that James accused you of telling someone? He knows that you know?"

I bite my lip slightly and look down at my lap. "Yeah, I overheard him talking to Sirius about it late one night in the library and then the next morning, I said something to James about your...problem and it just went from there." I look up and Remus is looking at me with thoughtful, narrow eyes.

"Since when have you and James had regular conversations?" He asked me. I sigh to myself.

"Since like two days ago. Or really, a week and two days ago." I shake my head slightly.

"See this is the thing. At the library when I heard them talking at night when I was studying, it was basically the first time that I had ever spoken to either of them. And then all of a sudden, they're all over me. I see them every day, all of you sat next to me, Audrey, and Violetta, and you all visited me in the hospital wing. What is up with that? I mean, I don't mind it. I want to be mates with you all but it's kind of disconcerting. Not to mention the fact that Sirius and James seem to be fighting over me now." All through my explanation, Remus was pensive but at my last sentence, Remus smiled.

"Don't you see it? They fancy you! That's why they're following you everywhere! When I had asked James myself, the exact same questions you have, he said, and I quote, that he has made it his mission to become mates with you. But he didn't mention seeing you in the library or anything." My eyebrows shoot up at this and for some reason, I'm disappointed. Just mates?

"As for Sirius, I think he's just going along with James and has possibly had a spark of interest towards you as well." Remus smiles widely. "That morning that we had breakfast together...it didn't seem to me like you were uninterested." I blush and look down.

"I don't know what I'm feeling right now..." My previous thoughts begin to emerge again. "And really, it doesn't even matter because Sirius Black and James Potter would never be interested in Lily Evans and definitely not both of them at the same time." I say with a small shrug and a sad smile.

Remus sighs loudly and demands me to look at him. "Lily Evans, I wouldn't be surprised if all of Hogwarts fancied you." He says, his brown eyes telling me that he truly means it. My eyes well up a bit and a huge smile envelopes my face as Remus holds my gaze for a few more moments before he gets up and beckons toward the food.

"Enjoy." I laugh slightly and dig in as Remus leaves me to my own devises. He must've asked Audrey what to get because all of my favourite comfort food is here: steak, chips, and brownies. Ahhh! I love Remus so much!

It's rather strange when I think about it. I've been mates with Remus ever since 5th year. Why has it taken me so long to get to know the rest of the Marauders? Granted they were the ones that had randomly decided we were the best of friends.

I think back to what Remus just told me. No matter how sweet and how sincere he seemed I just can't imagine that both James and Sirius would fancy me. Me, Lily Evans. I can't see how that would happen seeing how they've known me for like two days (and the week that I was unconscious), how could they fancy me already?

I am very sceptical.

The rest of the time that I had to spend in bed went by surprisingly quickly. Possibly because of how many people were visiting me at all times, all of the delicious food I was given, and the amount of reading that I got done.

The day that I was able to get up after a week and four days of lying dormant, I jumped out of my bed so fast that all of my blood rushed straight to my head, my vision blurred and my natural clumsiness made an appearance.

For the rest of the day, I was in a terrible mood. I had a massive headache from when I had hit my head on the side of my bed that morning and now I had to go talk to Dumbledore about something that I would rather just erase from my memory altogether.

Once I reached the huge eagle statue, I mumbled the password that Dumbledore had given me in his note, "Jelly beans." The eagle stepped aside and the staircase revealed itself.

At the door, I knocked steadily and tried not to groan in annoyance. I really did not want to be here right now.

"Come in." I heard Dumbledore's voice sound off and I opened the door slowly. Inside his office, Dumbledore was reclined in his seat, sucking on a candy as if he doesn't have anything better to do as the headmaster of a school.

"Ah, Ms. Evans, do sit down." He said with his damn eyes sparkling away in glee.

I sat down awkwardly as I had never before been in Dumbledore's office with just him.

"Now, Ms. Evans, I suspect you know why I have called you here." I nod slowly. "Could you tell me what had happened? I am sorry that it has taken me so long to investigate this fully but the minister has been hounding me for the past week." He smiled slightly and I laughed easily.

"Well..." And so I explained everything to him. Dumbledore listened carefully and when I finished he sat there for a while pondering everything that I had said.

A thought emerges. "Professor, I have wanted to ask you this since the attack a while ago but is there anything that I can do, to...help in the war effort?" I say nervously, twisting my hands in my lap. Usually, my gaze would have been towards my hands as well but I stared steadily at Dumbledore as he stared at me in surprise and thought.

He leans forward. "Normally, I would deny you due to your age but I believe that you could do something for me at Hogwarts." My eyes widened and I leant forward eagerly.

"In light of your attack, I am now certain that the Death Eaters are fully requiting inside Hogwarts. And even further, I believe they are planning something inside of Hogwarts. My instructions to you are very simple; just keep an eye all of the people that were involved in your attack and report back to me." I nod very seriously, happy to have been trusted enough to have been given this job.

"I won't breathe this to a soul." I whisper dramatically. Dumbledore raises an eyebrow at this.

"Actually, Ms. Evans, I would prefer you tell only those closest to you. I think you know who I am hinting towards." I stare at him for a moment and realise exactly of whom he is talking about: The Marauders.

"Oh...I'm not that close to them but alright, if you want me to." I mumble partially to myself and to him.

Later that night, the Marauders (except Peter), Audrey, Violetta and I are all gathered in the Gryffindor common room in the corner reserved for the Marauders. In a million years, I would have never thought that I would be sitting in this corner with them.

Glancing around me at the deserted common room, I cast a silencing charm around us just to make sure that nobody hears what we are talking about.

"So I had that meeting with Dumbledore today and he has a secret mission for us. He wants us all to watch Lestrange, Snape, Black, and all the obvious Death Eaters and report back to him anything suspicious." I look around at all of my friends and gauge their reactions.

Sirius and James look psyched to finally have something to do in regards to the war effort and so does Remus but to a lesser extent.

"Brill! We get to be like Sherlock Holmes!" Violetta laughs and high fives Audrey who bounces in her part of the sofa.

"Oooh, I should wear my muggle trench coat tomorrow!" I roll my eyes at her childlike joy.

"Ahh, I've got these hats that would be perfect!" Sirius screeches mockingly at her and she narrows her eyes and hits him with a pillow. Sirius draws back with his mouth open in shock, yanks the pillow away from her and starts hitting her back.

Audrey had mentioned to me earlier that the Marauders and she had gotten quite close while I was lying in a hospital bed but looking at them fighting playfully with each other, I realise just how much I had missed when I was gone. Sirius and Audrey just seem so comfortable with each other already; almost flirty in a way.

I'm surprised to be honest. With Audrey, it always takes a while before she really gets comfortable. I'm happy for her, honest, it's about time she let down her walls and let herself shine.

But at the same time, as I silently watch them giggle and hit each other teasingly, I am jealous. I want that to be me that Sirius is hitting with a pillow. I want to be that near to Sirius.

I shake my head to myself. I need to stop this nonsense. Sirius Black will never fancy me, that is that, the voice in the back of my head that alternates between Snape and Petunia, tells me snidely.

I snap out of thoughts and focus on the now. James is in the middle of saying something.

"People, please, we can't just show up in stereotypical spy gear to breakfast tomorrow! Obviously, they will know something is up! We got to be sleek and unsuspecting tomorrow. Poker faced to the max." He said calmly with a hand motions and a very straight and serious face.

Slowly, I start laughing and James turns to me with faux shock.

"Are you laughing at me? I am appalled, Lily Evans. I thought you were nicer than that!" James says with a hand on his heart. The devil on my shoulder dimly remarks that she'd love to have her hand there.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me," I tell him seriously.

James goes serious like me and stares at me with an intense expression.

"Well, looks like I've got another task."

James and I stare at each other for an extended period of time before I nervously look away and start playing with my hair.

Some things haven't changed.


End file.
